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ANNOUNCER: Next, on channel seven...
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America's Favorite Media-Generated Disasters.
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I can't believe you watch this stuff.
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Tonight, we'll show you how one camera crew
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provoked Madonna to break her foot.
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Ow! [BLEEP]
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I think I broke my [BLEEP] foot!
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Do you ever get tired
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of watching bad things happen to people?
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That's crazy talk.
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I mean, don't you think people have enough problems
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without the media creating new ones?
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Sometimes the natural disasters
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aren't spread evenly across the week.
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You need filler.
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Filler?
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Speaking of which,
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how was your day?
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Talk about disasters.
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The executive new product evaluation subcommittee
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has recommended to the executive new product committee
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to push up the deadline on the Gruntmaster 6000 Project
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because of some scurrilous rumor
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that one of our competitors
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allegedly not even in our field--
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Although that can't be confirmed
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because we don't know what field we're in--
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is releasing a similarly-themed product
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that might possibly have some aspect in common with
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or overlap in some slight way
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The Gruntmaster 6000.
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Now the whole thing's got to be ready in three weeks.
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What makes you qualified to be a reporter?
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I'm willing to violate anyone's privacy
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for my personal gain
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and then claim with a straight face
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that the public has a right to know.
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Have you been using me
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as your main source of industry information?
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No, not the MAIN source.
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I also make stuff up.
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For instance, I've started a rumor
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that your company is a front
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for an international organ harvesting cult.
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Organ harvesting cult?
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That's ridiculous.
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Oh, really.
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So, where exactly did you hear about us, folks?
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What do you know-- buy an organ.
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[EXPLOSION]
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[music]
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[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
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MAN: First off, Dilbo,
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we want to tell you what a terrific job
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you've done on the Puntblaster.
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Even Product Industry News SAYS SO.
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They called it "a product worthy of a better company."
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Oh, yeah! Yeah! Excellent!
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Who the man?
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ALL: You the man!
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Thanks. By the way, it's actually called The Gruntmaster.
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Whoa! Look who's getting all proprietary.
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Easy, guy. No point in getting married
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to a name at this stage.
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Come now, one name's as good as another.
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Stop being so rigid.
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You're the one who insisted that the name
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was the most important part of the project.
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I have no recollection of that.
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BOSS: The name is the most important part of the project.
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I cannot emphasize this strongly enough.
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[OTHERS MUMBLING IN AGREEMENT]
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And once we have a name, there's no going back.
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That's my final word.
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Alice, are you getting this all on tape?
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Wow.
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I have a beautiful speaking voice.
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Well, like we said, we think you're 90% there.
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These changes we're thinking of here are purely tweaks.
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Nothing that's going to change the thrust
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of what you're trying to do with this in any, any way.
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I like the way you said "any" twice.
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It shows...you care.
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You care.
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These changes are really up to you.
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They couldn't matter less.
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Feel free to ignore any two of them.
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As long as they're not two of mine.
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[ALL LAUGHING]
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[RETCHING]
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[CHUCKLING] Hear what I'm saying?
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But seriously, Dilb, we need to reach a demographic group
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that you may have overlooked.
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Consumers.
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Right. The people who are going to buy this thing
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are going to want it not just for...
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Whatever the heck it is.
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It's an exercise machine.
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For real?
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How can you possibly market something
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If you don't even know what it is?
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[LAUGHING] Whoa-hoa...
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Put the brakes on the negativity express.
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It's not only possible.
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It's poss-ee-ble.
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All you've got to do
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is give it more attitude.
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Make it more retro, but not antique.
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You know, futuristic, but not techno.
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Sexier.
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But more gender-neutral.
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You see what we're after?
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I think we're all on the same page.
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What page is that?
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We're still on track
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for a spring roll-out, right?
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We have to debut The Gruntmaster
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before the competition gets the jump on us.
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I don't see anything that could stand in our way.
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Sanity, reality, the laws of physics...
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Looks like we're done here.
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Dilbertio, I think I speak for everybody here
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when I say we've got complete confidence
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that you can pull this off.
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But keep in mind we're all huge liars.
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[ALL LAUGHING]
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[RETCHING]
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Oh, my God, this can't be good.
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Look at that.
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It's got a capital letter in the middle
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German spelling, and it's...
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[MUMBLING]
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A thousand higher than ours!
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I've brought it to my attention
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That our biggest competitor, Nirvana Co...
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[PEOPLE GASPING]
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The greatest engineering firm of all time.
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The executives actually listen to what you tell them
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and respond with neither sarcasm nor total incomprehension.
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The rumor is
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they treat you like a human being!
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And I would love to be treated like a human being!
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Just once!
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Here you go, boy.
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We've got a crisis on our hands.
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If they debut their Gruntmeister 7000 in three weeks
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they'll completely dominate the market.
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Don't they already dominate the market?
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If you believe the bible of our industry.
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Anyway, we're going to move the production schedule ahead again.
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What? How can we possibly speed up the schedule any more?
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I've given that a lot of thought.
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Have you?
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No. But nevertheless,
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I realize it would be impossible
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for you people to work any harder than you already are...
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This is going to be bad.
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...or any longer than you already are...
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Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
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So we're going to work... tighter.
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What? Tighter?
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What the heck does that mean?
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Security-- strict, tight security.
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Nirvana Co. seems to know our every move,
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and then beat us to the punch.
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If this phantom insider knows what's going on in Nirvana Co.
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He's sure to be snooping around here.
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Now, our security consultant,
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Mr. Dogbert,
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has outlined a series of strict new protocols
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to ensure nothing leaks out to the media.
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All right, people, listen up.
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Nursery school is over.
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I don't know what you've been doing up until now
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But from now on, things around here
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are going to be done by the book.
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There's going to be full frontal
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and backal strip searches.
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All communication will be done in the form of codes
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which will be changed
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on a daily basis.
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Is there a banjo player in Farmer Johansson's silo?
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A pigeon has no use for keys.
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He opens doors with his song.
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All company documents will be printed on edible paper
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for immediate memorization and consumption.
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This is going to be great.
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What are you talking about?
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It's going to be like living under martial law
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in some kind of postapocalyptic nightmare.
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Exactly. Do you know how desperate women get
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under martial law in some kind of postapocalyptic nightmare?
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I guess I haven't studied it as extensively as you.
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You've got THAT right.
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It was the topic of my graduate thesis.
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Empty your pockets, please.
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All right, move along.
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Nothing to see here.
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Where do you think you're going?
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To get the phone.
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Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one again.
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Okay, fine. I'm going.
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[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
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Flaming Commando
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to Central Control:
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I have an intruder situation
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In area 4-g-1-1-niner- slash-d-x-p-y-k-25-l-m.
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[PAINED GRUNTING]
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Rainbow, bravo, nylon, delta, tango, foxtrot.
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I nabbed this one trying to escape.
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What?
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Since when is leaving your cubicle
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to use the bathroom escaping?
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Since 2:30 this afternoon.
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Good work, Leonard.
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Why are we here?!
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What have we done wrong?!
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I'll tell you what you've done wrong.
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Someone in this room...
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Is a traitor!
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What are you talking about?
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I'll tell you what I'm talking about.
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Someone in this room leaked information to this magazine
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regarding our new security measures.
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Now, before you go accusing each other,
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let me accuse you.
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Alice!
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You're out of your mind.
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I was going to say,
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"Let me say why it couldn't BE ALICE."
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You see, I've been watching you nonstop
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on the security monitors.
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But we all have those cameras in our cubes.
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Yes, but I've only been watching hers.
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Ooh, that's a relief.
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Can I get back to filing my harassment suit?
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Soon. Now, Wally
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This current state of siege
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is the only chance you will ever, ever HAVE OF SCORING.
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Is that right?
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Oh, yeah. Definitely.
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No question there. No other way.
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So it would not be in your best interest
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to sabotage such a rare and favorable situation, would it?
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Hey...no, IT wouldn't.
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That leaves Dilbert and Loud Howard.
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I think we'd all agree it's impossible for Howard
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to do anything IN SECRET.
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Why do you say things that you know will hurt me?!
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Which, I'm sorry to say, leaves only one possible suspect:
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One who had the means, the motive and the opportunity...
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Well, the, uh... the means...
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Uh, anyway, it's Dilbert. But--
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Profanity won't help you now, son.
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This is so hard for me to say.
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Actually, it's not. You're fired.
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Clean out your desk and leave.
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But I-- Uh-uh-uh.
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But-- N-uh.
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Uh-- D-oh.
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D-oh-- Uh!
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I can't believe this is happening.
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You're making a terrible mistake.
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I... I'm a model employee.
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But not a WORKING model.
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Ooh!
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I wish I were the kind of person
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who didn't stand for this sort of treatment.
270
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,243
BOSS: Everybody down.
271
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,744
He's becoming disgruntled!
272
00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,749
I can't believe it.
273
00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,752
This cubicle has been my sanctuary.
274
00:11:26,752 --> 00:11:29,755
Now I'm just a refugee... a cubicle-less nomad
275
00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:32,758
doomed to roam the earth in search of a new oasis
276
00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:34,760
in the harsh corporate wasteland.
277
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,262
Well, you know, as long as you remember
278
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,264
nothing is worth committing suicide over.
279
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,266
I wasn't planning on committing suicide.
280
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:41,267
Are you sure?
281
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,269
Yes. Think about it, Dilbert.
282
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,271
An eternity of peace. No.
283
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,273
I have Jack Kevorkian's home number.
284
00:11:47,273 --> 00:11:48,274
I said no!
285
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,775
Mmm, suit yourself.
286
00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:50,276
Dibs on his chair.
287
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,283
MAN: I don't wear boxers.
288
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,789
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, at 11:00--
289
00:12:03,789 --> 00:12:07,293
Could a giant squid really eat a major metropolitan area?
290
00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,295
Find out how to protect your family.
291
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,297
Why is the news always the same
292
00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,299
as the miniseries that was just on?
293
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:14,800
What are the odds of that?
294
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,802
There's some things you're not meant to know.
295
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,304
I have to get a job.
296
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:19,805
I've been moping around the house for...
297
00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:22,808
12 hours and 27 minutes.
298
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,810
I'm not bothering you, am I?
299
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,312
Being around all the time?
300
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,313
It's an adjustment--
301
00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,315
In the same sense as, for example
302
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:30,816
being buried alive.
303
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,318
What I'd really like to get
304
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,819
is a job at Nirvana company.
305
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:34,820
I'll take care of it.
306
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,322
Plan to report to work on Monday.
307
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:37,823
You can get me a job at Nirvana?
308
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,325
How?
309
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:40,326
That's another one of those things
310
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:43,329
you're not meant to know.
311
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,830
Maybe I don't want to know.
312
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,841
We were all very impressed
313
00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,344
with your resume, Dilbert.
314
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,845
Did I send a resume?
315
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,348
I believe your assistant, a Mr. Dogbert,
316
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,350
was kind enough to forward it.
317
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:05,851
We usually insist on an interview
318
00:13:05,851 --> 00:13:07,353
before offering a job
319
00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:10,356
but how many double Nobel Prize winners does one see?
320
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,857
Ah.
321
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,864
You may have heard we have a different way
322
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,866
of "doing things" around here
323
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,868
that you'll have to get "used to"
324
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:26,372
but I think you'll enjoy the level of "freedom"
325
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:27,873
we allow our "employees."
326
00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:29,375
"Thank you."
327
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,881
Here's one of our recreation rooms.
328
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,884
As you can see, at Nirvana company
329
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:41,387
employee happiness comes first--
330
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,890
Just like in the space colonies of the future.
331
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,392
Oh, thank you.
332
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:48,894
I was wondering, would it be at all possible
333
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,397
for me to get on the Gruntmeister 7000 project?
334
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,399
[ALL LAUGHING]
335
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,901
Dilbert, if there were such a project
336
00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:57,903
believe me, I'd not only put you on it
337
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,405
but you'd be the head designer
338
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,408
with a staff of assistants
339
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,909
and a budget that would choke a wide-necked animal.
340
00:14:03,909 --> 00:14:06,912
What do you mean "if there were such a project"?
341
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,914
You must be talking about that article
342
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,416
in Product Industry News.
343
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,917
Complete fiction.
344
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,419
I don't know how they get away
345
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:14,920
with publishing that rubbish
346
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,422
and I certainly can't imagine
347
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:17,923
anyone taking it seriously.
348
00:14:17,923 --> 00:14:20,426
Now, would you like to see your new offices?
349
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:22,428
Offices?
350
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:25,431
I'll leave you to acclimate to your new surroundings.
351
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,932
If you need anything
352
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:30,436
the robots are programmed to respond to your thoughts.
353
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,443
I have a door.
354
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,458
I sure do miss him.
355
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,460
Have you talked to him since he left?
356
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,461
Who?
357
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,967
I'm going to need a marrow sample.
358
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,469
Poke away, my good man.
359
00:15:03,469 --> 00:15:04,970
Take as much as you want.
360
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:05,971
Drain me.
361
00:15:05,971 --> 00:15:07,473
Yeow!
362
00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:09,475
Oh, Wally, are you all right?
363
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:12,478
All right? I hope this never ends.
364
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:27,993
music Dum-do, dum-dum-do dum-dum, dum-dum-dum music
365
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:29,495
music Dum-dum, dum-dum-dum music
366
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,997
music My Sharona music
367
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,999
This is just impossible.
368
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,001
How am I going to get any work done
369
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:37,503
if there's no tension?
370
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:44,009
I need a new pen.
371
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:52,017
I'd like the forms to requisition a pen, please.
372
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,519
Forms for a pen?
373
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,020
Ultimately, yes,
374
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,022
but we both know it's not gonna be that easy.
375
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,023
Come on in.
376
00:15:58,023 --> 00:15:59,525
Pens are in aisle five.
377
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,026
Take what you need.
378
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,028
ANNOUNCER: Floatation tank time
379
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,531
will now commence in the main atrium.
380
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,046
Bye-bye.
381
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,054
No line.
382
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:34,560
What are you doing?
383
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,561
Waiting for you to finish.
384
00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:37,062
Well, I might be awhile.
385
00:16:37,062 --> 00:16:39,064
You could use one of the other machines.
386
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,567
They're working?
387
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:43,068
Of course they are.
388
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:47,573
What kind of madhouse is this?!
389
00:16:53,078 --> 00:16:54,580
Hi. Good to see you.
390
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:55,581
Nice day, isn't it.
391
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:56,582
What are you working on?
392
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,083
Working?
393
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,585
We've heard a lot about you.
394
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:02,588
I'll bet you're inventing something pretty special.
395
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,590
Uh... yeah.
396
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,592
I'm-- I'm working on a, uh... a barbecue.
397
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,594
An underwater barbecue.
398
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,096
So when you're scuba diving...
399
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:13,599
Wow! You are good!
400
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,601
I just want to see if it can be done.
401
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:17,603
I'm sure the marketing department will try to kill it.
402
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:18,604
Marketing department?
403
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,606
I'm not sure we've got one.
404
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,608
Who decides what products to make?
405
00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:23,609
Who tells you your ideas
406
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,612
are idiotic wastes of time that aren't commercial?
407
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:28,614
Doesn't anyone step on your dreams?
408
00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:30,115
Are you feeling okay?
409
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:31,617
Yes, I'm fine.
410
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,119
I just didn't know how a company can exist
411
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,121
without a marketing department.
412
00:17:36,121 --> 00:17:37,623
Hey, what's wrong, guys?
413
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:38,624
The new guy has an idea
414
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,626
to start a marketing department.
415
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,628
No, not at all. I was just saying
416
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,630
I've never heard of a company without a...
417
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,131
Hello, Dilbert.
418
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,634
I'm the vice-president in charge
419
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,636
of immediately implementing ideas
420
00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:52,638
that may adversely affect the company.
421
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,139
Now, this idea of yours
422
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:56,642
for a marketing department sounds a bit risky
423
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,143
but here at Nirvana Company
424
00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:00,145
we pride ourselves on our willingness
425
00:18:00,145 --> 00:18:01,647
to explore new directions.
426
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,649
Until now, it's worked out great.
427
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,653
I only hope this isn't the one time I'm calamitously wrong.
428
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:08,654
Well, good day.
429
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:11,657
Uh-oh.
430
00:18:13,659 --> 00:18:16,161
VICE-PRESIDENT: Here's that marketing department you've been
431
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,663
So enthusiastic about, Dilbert.
432
00:18:17,663 --> 00:18:19,164
I wouldn't say I was enthusiastic...
433
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:20,165
Their first recommendation
434
00:18:20,165 --> 00:18:21,667
is we gear up full-speed ahead
435
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:23,168
to market the underwater barbecue.
436
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:24,670
What?!
437
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:30,175
Now, first of all, congratulations.
438
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,176
We love this.
439
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:32,678
Just a couple of thoughts.
440
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,180
One: does it have to be underwater?
441
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:37,182
And two: does it have to be a barbecue?
442
00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:41,687
Isn't that the whole point?
443
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:42,688
Is it?
444
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,690
We need to lose the underwater part.
445
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,191
And the barbecue part.
446
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:47,192
It goes. 86 it.
447
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,695
But then how do you barbecue underwater?
448
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:50,696
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
449
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,197
Sorry. We couldn't hear you.
450
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,200
Your comments were drowned out by a loud shriek from next door.
451
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,202
Next, we're afraid when it comes out of the box
452
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,203
it will make a squeaking sound.
453
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:00,205
You mean from the Styrofoam packing material?
454
00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:01,707
It's a loser noise.
455
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,709
That sound tested extremely low.
456
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,210
[SCREAMING AND GUNFIRE]
457
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,712
Are you trying this marketing thing
458
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,213
anywhere else in the company? Or just here?
459
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:09,715
All over.
460
00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:10,716
It's spreading like a virus.
461
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:11,717
I gotta go.
462
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,734
"Nirvana Company, the world's greatest company
463
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,736
"filed for bankruptcy today.
464
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,237
"inexplicable venture...
465
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:33,739
"underwater cooking...
466
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:35,741
"headquarters destroyed in blaze...
467
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:38,744
"Nirvana company stock fell 180 points
468
00:19:38,744 --> 00:19:41,246
"to negative 20 and an eighth.
469
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:44,249
"the company holds
470
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:45,751
A single engineer responsible."
471
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:48,253
Well, congratulations.
472
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:51,256
For what? Destroying a 90-year-old company?
473
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,258
You're now well-known in your industry.
474
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,761
Fame is more important than competence.
475
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,764
Are you saying I'm more employable as a famous screwup
476
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,766
than I was as a competent nobody?
477
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,267
That's how it works.
478
00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,268
I don't see how.
479
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,771
There's some things you're not meant to know.
480
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,775
Well, uh... Dilbert...
481
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,276
[CHUCKLES]
482
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:12,277
I see that
483
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,279
your qualifications are impeccable.
484
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:17,783
And even though I myself, or someone very much like me
485
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:20,285
fired you for divulging company secrets
486
00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,288
I see that you are now a well-known industry figure.
487
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:25,290
Can I have my old cubicle back?
488
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:27,292
I guess so.
489
00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:28,293
[CHUCKLES]
490
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,295
Yes!
491
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:31,797
[ALARM SOUNDING]
492
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:33,298
MAN: You have entered a No-merriment Zone.
493
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,801
Discontinue your job satisfaction now.
494
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,303
Ah... home.
495
00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:42,307
I'll introduce you around.
496
00:20:42,307 --> 00:20:43,308
You'll like Wally.
497
00:20:43,308 --> 00:20:45,811
He's almost completely bald.
498
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,312
Sure.
499
00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:48,313
I was wondering...
500
00:20:48,313 --> 00:20:49,815
Hmm?
501
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,817
Seeing as the main competition has gone belly-up
502
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,319
are these security precautions still necessary?
503
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:55,821
You know, you're right.
504
00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:57,823
I can never remember the passwords anyway.
505
00:20:57,823 --> 00:21:00,826
BOSS: Attention, employees, attention--
506
00:21:00,826 --> 00:21:02,327
As of this moment
507
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:05,831
All security procedures are suspended.
508
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:07,833
Please return to your normal state
509
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,835
of semi-comatose clock-watching.
510
00:21:09,835 --> 00:21:11,837
Oh, thank God.
511
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:13,338
Finally.
512
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:14,339
No!
513
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:21,847
Oh, well, back to work.
514
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:24,349
[SNORING]
515
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:36,361
[music]
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